Delusional|Sanguine|Sagittarian
2012 - A Year to Remember

2012….

I started year 2012 in an old standard fashion: coming back home from Bojonegoro to my family in Tambun and celebrate New Year’s Eve with fireworks. It happens we have additional member of right now: grandchildren from my brother Avicenna: Sally and Meccalif. So it’s quite fun memorable experience, even though I lost sights of what am doing that night. But overall, it was fun compared of not doing anything.

For me, 2012 is definitely a YEAR TO REMEMBER. Yes, I have to capitalize that as there’s nothing I could think of that could lead me to my current condition. Not because of all fantastic memory lanes I had while trekking to Mount Merapi or my first encounter with Alun-alun Surya Kencana at Mount Gede or even 3 days-holiday with Dhira and Donny at bydorry – Ubud. They’re all fine memories I cherish for the rest of my life.

It was the sickness that I got on mid-year of 2012 that makes it a year to remember. I just got back from trekking to Mount Gede on 15 – 17 June 2012. Everything’s fine…I was in shape, very fit and has nothing to complain really. It was just another trekking days for me, business as usual J — Me, Ilham and Putri Rizqy reached alun-alun surya kencana first. I was at awe of the landscape as that was my first time ever seen it. So until the rest of the group all get together, we hold our camping ground.

For two days one night camping in Mount Gede, I feel no pain, only joyful memories of laughing, joking and taking lots of pictures with 12 friends, we even made our selves a “rujakan” coz the theme of this trekking is “Petualang 24 rujakan di Gede” – quite something eh? I was healthy as far as I remember, not the slightest pain ever occur. One thing I could complain about this trip is the taste of nasi uduk abang-abang yang di alun-alun, gaaawwdd it tasted horrible!!!

On a descending trip to Cibodas, I was all packed up and ready. I know Cibodas descending route is quite unfriendly with your foot because of its long distance compared to Gunung Putri route (when we ascend). So we start to descend from Puncak Gede around nine or ten-ish. Again, there’s no problem at all, I felt as healthy as a grizzly bear. We arrived at Pos 1 Cibodas (the last post) at around 15:00, taking a shower – a total clean up! – secara ya boo 2 hari di gunung gak mandi :p

So after the trip, I come home and resting for another day (18 June 2013 – rooster day off) before heading back to Bojonegoro. That day with my family we went to Bekasi to give our two cats routine vaccines. At night, I say good bye to my family as am heading back to Bojonegoro with that long greyish train named Sembrani. I was waiting in Gambir station, buying myself dinner and snack (Holland bakery always). No signs of abnormalcy, I was pure myself. Then I stepped in to the train as it departs on 21:00. It is always been a long journey for me to Bojonegoro…I slept, wake up, check time & belongings, slept again. And that was I did for the rest of the night until I arrived in Bojonegoro little station at 05:30 am.

As it was Tuesday, I dropped my belongings at my rented room first before going straight to the office. And then I started feeling dizziness, so I consulted with my fellow working colleague (who is also a doctor) dr. Redi. He recommends me to see office physician. Then I went to MOH office, which is located in front of PGA office. I told the physician everything, but he gave me only Asam Mefenamat as pain killer of dizziness. Also, he recommends Panadol. As I know we have limited resources on drugs in the field, so I take no exception of his recommendations and take the drugs. And that evening the dizziness was gone, thanks to Asam Mefenamat and Panadol.

The next morning, it happens all over again. Just a complete dizziness, nausea and am started to lose my appetite for the rest of the day. At night, I went to RSIA Aisyiyah Bojonegoro and obtain a treatment. They gave me like four types of drugs that are not helping at all. Trying to make myself happy by buying happy food (food that makes u happy or u feel better after eating it), it didn’t work„,I really lost it…my appetite.

On that Wednesday night, I woke up in the middle of the night with fever and felt excruciating pain in my head. So I got out the room to get some water. I drank from the glass while walking back towards my room but suddenly I feel so nausea that I finally throw out in the floor. I was vomiting twice that night, in front of my porch and in the bathroom. I was feeling so tired that straight go to bed, didn’t think to even clean up the mess I made.

On Thursday, I texted my boss tells him I’m sick and need a rest. He said okay and GWS. That time I know something serious is happening inside my body, something unusual. I know I need a better medical treatment so I already thought of going to the finest hospital in Surabaya on tomorrow morning (Friday).  So that Thursday night, I rest and still vomiting, still got a fever and feeling very weak. I thought how am I going to the train station without someone’s help? So I bbm mbak Dyah to ask if there’s a car to drop me to train station. The message was delivered but not read…well I sent it like in 22:00. Probably she’s already asleep.

Friday morning, I went to the train station very early around 05:00. At first I was walking as there’s no angkot or becak. But luckily, I met a tukang becak near Jln. Diponegoro. So I hopped in and he drove me away to the train station. Cepu Express departs at 05:30 from Bojonegoro. It takes approximately 2,5 hours to reach Surabaya, so I toughen myself up to survive the dizziness and fever during commuting time.

By the time the train reached Pasar Turi, the dizziness takes its toll on me. I was like in constant pain that I wanted to arrive at the hospital so badly. The driving to hospital by taxi is madness, I didn’t know it will take that long, or maybe because I don’t know Surabaya. And that’s when I realized that I have left one of my bags in the train. Shoot!!!

I arrived at the Ramsay Healthcare Surabaya by 10:30-ish…straight to emergency unit. Gave them my insurance card and they take blood sample at that very moment. All I can remember is feeling very weak and a bit relieve that I finally arrive at a place for medical help. There’s not much I can remember what happen for the rest of the day, except am sleeping and wake up with headache, take the drugs and sleeping again until late that afternoon.

Later that afternoon I think I passed out and all I can hear is a strange voice repetitively (which happened to be a CT-Scan device). They scan my brain after a physician find me unconvincingly not sure of myself (He then call and told my family that I have lost consciousness/Penurunan kesadaran diri). My mom, at Tambun,(of course) panicking knowing her son was badly ill in Surabaya. So my mom, my oldest brother Samm and my youngest sister Diny flew to Surabaya on Sunday. I still passed out during the weekends; don’t know it was the drugs or whatever cause it am unsure. But one thing I know when I wake up one morning (don’t know if it’s Monday or Tuesday) I saw my mom’s face in front of me, smiling. Then she dropped the bomb on me in the most delicate way: Told me that I have tumor in my brain and the hospital’s neurosurgeon team will do surgery to my brain for early biopsy. At that time I was numb; don’t know how I feel, I never thought that I have brought tumor in my brain. Not the slightest idea ever occurred. So I “pasrah” aja.

To be continued…. 

Your Click Can Be Devastating!

Office politics, gossips, rumors, backstabbers, etc — U probably so tired of overhearing them every where u go. Whenever how many times u move into new companies, new environments, new relationship„,there’s always “them”. Well, we all need drama in life rite..? :p

So based on my experience here in a place so far east XD — I learned that a click can be so meany!!! Seriously ruthless!! Devastating!

In case u guys study Communications back in college, u must be pretty much familiar with the definition of “Click”. Well, quoting from (Agarwala-Rogers, 1976) Click is a group of individuals who (at least) half of its members has relationship or know/familiar to each other. Click has the characteristics that each member know other members in formal or informal way of communicating. 

In short, a click is a group of individuals united by common interest, values or proximity. 

The problem is when a click, or we can just say a group has the same interests, values or probably way of thinking things….They might generate a generalized perception towards other people outside their click. 

For example: 

Levi has issues with Lee, who is not in one group/click. So Levi try to persuade other members at his group to hate Lee. Levi shared a long list of mistakes and negativeness of Lee to other members of the group. Since the group shared the same values, interests, proximity — They have the tendency to trust whatever Levi told them about Lee — Which is I think is cannot be blamed, simply because people trust those who they familiar with..Ya kan?

Nah masalahnya, Lee is can be innocent. But she was suffered from the general negative perception created by Levi and his group. A click in a organization play an important role to influence another clicks/groups reaction toward someone or something. That’s the dangerous of a CLICK, they can steward people’s perception in an organization that jeopardize someone’s reputation. 

Sadly it happens in front of my own eyes and ears, to witness some people telling bad things about other people. I found it reeeeally NASTY and UGLY. Man, I dont even want to be in the spotlight. But hey, there’s always something i can take from this lessons of life :)

Lessons learned:

  • Dont Talk someone’s infamy to other people — keep it to urself
  • If u heard negative things about a person from someone else, keep it to yourself - Dont put another spice for a bowl of soup that already spicy & hot. Get it?
  • Just shut the fuck up and move on — find another interesting/positive story to talk about. Mind our own biz!!
  • Not taking sides by Not confirming their negativity — Like “She’s a bitch!” and ur sayin ” Oh tell me about it” XD — Best thing u can do is (again) just shut up and listen of what he/she tells u.
  • Re-confirmed the story - Always get the story from both sides - Then define ur thoughts on the matter 

Yes i Know, it is easier said than done. I admitted that I’m being meany bitchy as well. But I think that’s the beauty of life and being a human, right..? That u have time and the ability to learn from ur past mistakes and strive for a better self in the future. Hell I know it’s not gonna be easy! But I’m trying really :)). Being a neutral person in an environment full of ambitions, gossips and office politics leads u to the safest place, in which u still can get along with all of ur friends in an organization, that eventually smoothed and support ur own professional work. Compared to them who has issues will mostlikely spending most of their time to impose their frenemies. & got so many trouble in finishing their works. 

So guys, be careful on what ur friend tell u about someone of something. Just because u guys “akrab” and shared the same interest does not mean everything he/she said is true. Punishing a person’s credibility just by listening to one source is UNFAIR. You dont know how a click/group can create such a negative impact to someone’s reputation in an organization. Imagine urself in that position. 

OVer and OUt! — Bojonegoro, 30 May 2012 at 21:21 WIB.

Earth Hour is (NOT) Going to Save the Earth

You guys probably remember all the hype about Earth Hour that some “random” people celebrated every March 31 by switching off their electricity for an hour. Here I want to be bitchy about that.

Started with one of my friend’s twitter account, in which he was sooo fussy reminding everyone to switch off electricity on Earth Hour. He tweeted these reminders like daaayyss before D Day and then (of course) followed by several friends or accounts whom I followed in twitter. 

They actually made me think and question what is the actual benefit of Earth Hour? POP!! Saving Energy — That’s the common answer. 

Saving energy?? Errrr…I dont think sooo….All countries may go dark for an hour but that doesn’t mean they’re saving energy..geezz… Saving energy is not a matter of switching off your light for an hour….but it is a matter of your HABIT in using them in LONG TERM!

Our Habits:

1. When brushing your teeth, you let the water running — Multiply that habit with 365 days.

2. When you leave home, you didn’t unplugged all equipment. Even if they’re not operating, their “stand by” mode is still consuming energy! — Multiply that habit with 365 days.

3. When you bought two chocolate bars or a mineral water, you still using plastic bag instead of (simply) putting it in your bag — Multiply that habit with how frequent you went shopping. 

4. Busy with your laptop while the TV is on and no one’s watching - Multiply that habit with 365 days

5. Charging your smartphone and then went to sleep. The phone was fully charged five hours before you wake up the next morning — Multiply that habit with 365 days

Now if people still doing these habits and thinking that switching off electricity for an hour can save the earth? They must be DELUSIONAL!

An hour without electricity wont make our beloved Earth healthier or greener, plis deh…. It is our long term actions and habits that counts!

So try to do the opposite of those five habits above and do it consistently over the years. I will be more appreciated people gettin’ fussy about doing these things instead of endless tweeting about switching electricity for an hour. 

Well, WWF has done a good job of making “Earth Hour” thingy as an effective awareness campaign of encouraging people to act more responsible towards our earth. But when people talked earth hour for the sake of a trend & hype, an event that they thought can save the world…. That is…sad. 

An hour of darkness wont replace all irresponsible habits that we’ve done for yeeeeaaarssss….

Now seriously people?? Change your habits and start to actually save the earth.

—Malam mingguan sendirian di Bojonegoro aja gituh :’( —

Fixing a Blackberry - An afternoon Reflection in Monticello

So my blackberry went dead for six days straight, completely dead! I changed into the old time favorite Finland’s Nokia that costs me only Rp. 365.000,-. To my surprise, using this “connecting people” device brought the memories back. When I searched for my existing contact list, I found contact names were written in sort of 4L4Y language…I believe this coming from those golden years, yes..when I’m an 4L4Y myself. LoL!

Well anyway, today i went to Plaza Semanggi to fix this damn thing made by RIM. Went to my trusted store in the 3rd floor: “Pisang”. The store owner looked hesitated and uninterested to my since 2009-old Javeline, contrasted with what he sells in display window: the latest RIM devices and Apple phones…well, I know he’s being nice when he refers me to another store next door. Oh well, LoL!

The guy next store was a Chinese young man, probably on his early 30’s. Very helpful as he was…immediately knew what has gone wrong with my phone. It only take seconds as he told me the cost for repairing. A hundred thousand for changing and cleaning keypad internal layer, brushed dirts on track ball and a bit of chit chat how to maintain ur blackberry. He explained that water has made the damage. Oops..I remember taking my phone whenever I go, including bathroom. The night before it went dead, I did took this thing to the bathroom, u know tweeting while pooping becomes a habit, LoL! I should have splashed sufficient amount of water that made it DEAD! :DD

Booyaa..!!! After less than 10 minutes, he brought my blackberry back to life :D The red light wink repetitively, notifying those pending emails, messengers, or tweets that went unread since 5 days ago. Many of them :DD. I paid him with relieve :)

In search of a place for charging :p, I found a small cafe at the corner of Plaza Semanggi’s 5th floor. Named Monticello. Googling and found Monticello means little mountain in Italiano. Ordered a caramel macchiato and a bowl of red bean soup as excuses for using their electricity :D. Costs me less than a hundred thousand rups :p

Now my laptop is fully charged, while blackberry’s still half full. Time to pay the bill and get going. This has been a quite nice afternoon. :))

A Little bit of Spoils and Merit System (Selling yourself is mandatory)

When I’m involved in a pretty much intense discussion with a friend of mine through bbm, we talked about how things going in our workplace. It was the usual stuff, the usual complaints :p But then he told me something that catch my attention right away. He said that “what we all need is a merit system”.

I was intrigued and so I look for the definition of it. Through some online readings, I can tell that merit system is a system (of course) to determine how performance and recognition (rewards) works. It has basic philosophies on how employers appraised their employees’ performances (objectively) that later determine the rewards. The system is actually very easy and logical: Once an employee performed and delivers quality to his/her tasks, then he or she should earn a rewarding reward. Good Work means Good Raise – Bad Work means Bad Raise…As simple as that.

The opposite of Merit System is what expert called Spoils System. If merit highlights your work performance to determine your rewards. Well, it’s a different story with Spoils System. Don’t you just hate the word spoils already? :D Anyway, Spoils System is a system that stresses on patrimonial relationship to determine rewards. Disbelief eh? But it happens, a lot of.

Let say Petra is a well accomplished secretary who always delivers quality jobs. She is smart, working hard, and passionate about her job. But one day, Petra was stunned when she found out that another secretary, called her Rita, earned bigger raise than her (work for the same boss). Rita, however, is a beautiful woman who likes to partaaayyy, coming to the office late, and not always delivers quality job. But one thing that Rita is very good at, is keeping her boss happy, either with silly conversation, flirtatious jokes and her beautiful figure. So when you questioned why a dumb blonde like Rita could earn bigger raise then the smart and passionate Petra, well that is how a Spoils System works (IMO)

The keyword is “Patrimonial” from Latin of “patrimonium”. It means an inheritance from a father or other ancestor. So it is an inheritance or personal relationship that counts. Many might not know that Rita the dumb blonde is actually his boss’ junior at the university. A close personal relationship, having the same attributes & proximity have eventually speaks louder than working performance. That is why Rita beat the crap out of a smart woman like Petra :p

Many companies in Indonesia are still implementing this Spoil System as it has been passed out since god knows when. Try to analyze the current company you work for. Is there an employee who got promoted when others know he/she’s just average? Is there an employee who hardly seen at the office but still praised for his teamwork?

Frustrating I know. The foul is caused by both the management and employees. I have watched that in order to survive the competition you need to strategically engaged your boss to make him or her see your accomplishments, even though it is just a typical work you’ve done. But at least you’re being praised and looked good in front of your boss.

It is how you sell yourself that counts, and yes by knowing your supervisor taste or preferences might help. Sometimes when you talked about the latest leather handbag to your supervisor can make you look better, even when you’re just committed a mistake. The likes of Petra’s are suffered from their inabilities to promote themselves in companies who adopts Spoils System. Petra might accomplish all given tasks and responsibilities, but the management failed to recognize her efforts while she’s not promoting herself. Pity!

So sell yourself, it is mandatory for survival. Find the right time to promote yourself, engaged your boss in a casual or formal events, let your boss knows a little about you – your hobby, your family, your favorite food, any non-related work stuff. Create some sort of “professional intimacy” that made you not just another sub-ordinates but also a human or a friend with feelings and probably you guys have something in common.

If you still failed, then get the fuck out of that company and find a better one!

By Dheva Ibnu on a rainy Saturday nite in Bojonegoro – 14 Jan 2012

Travelling: To Discover or To Explore?

Dalam kamus Bahasa Indonesia “Traveling” itu diterjemahkan sebagai “bepergian”. Tapi pada umumnya saat ini banyak istilah lain dari traveling, mulai dari nge-trip, nge-bolang, ngacir, nanjak, backpacker-an, etc. Semua punya konteks dan signifikansi bagi sang traveler dan perjalanan yang dilakukannya.

Motivasi seseorang untuk melakukan traveling tentunya bervariasi. Mulai dari sarana untuk relaksasi, untuk melihat hal-hal baru (to discover), menjelajah dan mempelajari hal-hal yang baru tersebut (to explore), bahkan mungkin untuk mencari atau menjalin hubungan interpersonal (cinta lokasi?) :p.

Yang menarik disini adalah definisi “to discover” dan “to explore” dalam traveling menentukan sejauh mana kualitas traveling yg dilakukan seseorang. Mungkin definisinya hampir-hampir mirip tetapi justru punya tingkatan makna yang berbeda. Menurut kamus Mirriam Webster, “Discover” berarti: to make known or visible — to obtain knowledge or sight for the first time. Sementara “Explore” definisinya: to investigate, analyze and study. Selintas jelas  sekali perbedaannya.

Sebagian traveler bisa jadi mempunyai konsep bahwa traveling adalah ketika seseorang atau sekelompok orang secara fisik sampai ke tempat tujuan wisatanya (entah gunung, danau, pantai, laut, etc), kemudian beraktivitas (rafting, hiking, camping), menikmati kuliner lokal, membeli souvenir, foto-foto, selesai lalu pulang. Apabila dikaitkan dengan alinea sebelumnya tentang motivasi traveling, maka menurut penulis konsep traveling seperti ini baru sampai pada tatanan “to discover” saja, tahapan paling dasar dari sebuah perjalanan. Traveling disini diartikan sebatas perpindahan (movement) secara fisik seseorang ke sebuah tempat, lalu ia mengalami hal-hal baru yang dilihat dan dirasakan secara panca inderanya (visual sighting & other senses), seperti  indahnya daerah pegunungan yang berbukit-bukit, udaranya yang terasa lebih dingin, pantai yang berpasir putih, etc). Singkatnya adalah “Yang penting gw udah berada disini, pemandanganya indah banget, gw udah puas foto-foto, dan satu atau dua foto tersebut bakal jadi profile picture gw.” :p Well, pemikiran ini sangat wajar sih dan sama sekali gak salah. Tetapi menurut penulis sungguh rugi kalau kita traveling (and actually spending money for it) tapi hanya mendapatkan pengalaman sesederhana ini.

Lain ”to discover” lain pula “to explore”. Kemampuan untuk mengeksplorasi sebuah perjalanan adalah tingkatan yang lebih tinggi dari proses “to discover” yang hanya sekedar perpindahan keberadaan fisik saja. Seperti quotes yang dikutip dari www.matadornetwork.com ini menjelaskan definisi traveling yang lebih dalam lagi:

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” – Miriam Beard

Nah disini jelas dikatakan bahwa traveling itu bukan sekedar “seeing of sights” atau “to obtain sights for the first time”– melihat pemandangan, happy-happy dan foto-foto. But it goes beyond that. Kunci dari eksplorasi sebuah perjalanan adalah proses “interaksi”. Data sekunder yang didapatkan dari beberapa sumber referensi di internet atau buku-buku traveling sangatlah membantu. Tetapi selalu saja ada satu atau dua cerita yang tidak termaktub didalam buku-buku tersebut. Cerita-cerita semacam ini yang biasanya didapatkan melalui interaksi dengan penduduk lokal yang sudah turun temurun tinggal disana. Cerita tentang kearifan lokal serta budaya setempat melalui percakapan dengan penduduk di kedai kopi misalnya, dapat membuat seorang traveler lebih memahami karakter masyarakat lokal dan tempat yang ia kunjungi.

“Change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living” – Bisa diartikan bahwa ketika melakukan sebuah perjalanan setidaknya ada sebuah perubahan yang kita rasakan sebagai akibat dari interaksi kita dengan nilai, norma budaya masyarakat setempat. Ketika kita berinteraksi dengan guide atau tetua adat di gunung misalnya, pasti selalu disampaikan tata cara pendakian yang baik menurut kearifan lokal: misalnya tidak boleh berbicara kotor, tidak boleh kemping di area tertentu, tidak boleh pakai baju warna hijau, bahkan ada prosesi adat yang harus dilakukan. Atau misalnya di China ternyata menyisakan makanan di piring merupakan sebuah pujian bagi tuan rumah, padahal di Indonesia justru dianggap tidak sopan. Itu semua adalah kearifan lokal yang kita ketahui melalui proses eksplorasi perjalanan melalui interaksi dengan penduduk. Yang pada akhirnya mampu mengikis keegoisan kita sendiri, membentuk pribadi yang lebih terbuka,  dan menghargai keyakinan orang lain. Bahwa “ideas of living” itu sangat warna-warni dan traveling membantu kita untuk memahami perbedaan tersebut. Seyogyanya setiap perjalanan memberikan nilai atau pengalaman yang berharga bagi pelakunya. Entah pengalaman yang menyenangkan ataupun yang buruk, keduanya sama baik. Kenapa sama baik? Karena ketika kita mengenangnya kemudian, kita akan selalu tersenyum.

Jadi kembali lagi ke konsep motivasi traveling tadi, sayang sekali kalau kita hanya sekedar “to discover” saja: sukses kejar sunrise/sunset, sampai di puncak gunung, foto-foto, lalu pulang. Quote dibawah ini bisa jadi sebuah sindiran:

“If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay at home.” – James Michener (Bisa diartikan dalam bahasa gaulnya: ““Gw datang, gw having fun sama temen-temen, gw foto-foto narsis, gw happy – gw pulang”)

Jadi kalau masih punya filosofi traveling  seperti ini ya lebih baik diam di rumah saja :p

Ayo kita mengeksplorasi setiap perjalanan kita; ketahui budayanya, kenali penduduknya dan hormati perbedaannya.

“Traveling is an endless exploration of oneself, an interaction and exchanging experiences that emphasize acceptance of differences as beauty of life. It is so profound that it encourage us to be a better self” — Dheva Ibnu =))

 

Raffles Tower

Raffles Tower

2012 Resolutions…

One often thinks that New Year comes with new goals and targets to achieve. And that is certainly not me :p. Most of my new year’s resolutions are the same shit I carry over from 2011, LoL! So nothing brand new really, it’s more like clicking the “refresh” button on your web page to see the latest status of your life goals, achievements, values and commitments, and then try to actualize them in twenty twelve.

So here’s what I have in mind to make life even better in the year of the dragon:

Key Performance Indicators for a successful 2012:

  • Mom to be happier and healthier;
  • A much loving and caring son, brother and friend;
  • A healthier self; like losing at least 6 kilos of weight. Boy, this sounds tough :p
  • A much more discipline, focus and professional self;
  • A much more courageous self; speak your mind or shut the hell up;
  • Don’t sweat on the small stuff;
  • Living in my apartment;
  • Revisiting Korea with Mom and Sis;
  • Revisiting Mount Rinjani and/or Semeru;
  • Hiking trip to Mount Arjuno-Welirang and/or Tambora and/or Kerinci;
  • A Weekend getaway at Bandung;

 Please be advised that this going to be a long list and I could go on and on :D

Too happy to even stare at the camera ^^

Too happy to even stare at the camera ^^

With the green…right after completing a volunteer program survey at Desa Talok, Kalitidu — Always love the green ^^

With the green…right after completing a volunteer program survey at Desa Talok, Kalitidu — Always love the green ^^